


The Reason Darcy Doesn't Do Dinner Parties Anymore

by MissSparklingWriter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 4,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25269994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSparklingWriter/pseuds/MissSparklingWriter
Summary: It started with an invitation to dinner by Tony Stark. Pretty strange (no pun intended since a certain wizard was left off the invite list) considering he seemed to invite all the Avengers he least liked or had a beef with. Also why the hell was Loki here? On top of that, the billionaire philanthropist abandoned them to go gallivanting leading to them having the worst dinner party ever. And that was even before murder was served up as a surprise course.Suddenly Loki is dead and it's up to Darcy, amateur detective extraordinaire to discover and reveal the culprit.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Loki, Darcy Lewis/Natasha Romanov
Kudos: 8
Collections: Darcy With the Pen in the Discord





	1. Scenario 1: Kitchen

Darcy stroked her chin as she stepped into the kitchen. 

“If I was a murderer, I would come in here to tidy up after myself.” Carol mused as she followed Darcy in and began to examine the floor. 

“But this murderer didn’t have light or time to clear anything up?” Darcy countered as she leaned in to examine the counter tops as well as the handles on drawers and cupboards. 

“They would if this was Loki,” Carol remarked. 

“Can’t rule magic out. The guy has died like six times already,” Darcy said. 

“What?!” cried Carol. 

“Well maybe not six exactly…


	2. Scenario 1: Helipad

“Stark has too much money,” Darcy declared as she climbed into the helicopter.

“What gave it away?” Steve smirked. “The Tower? The Malibu mansion?”

“No one needs a helicopter,” Darcy answered. She carefully examine around the seats. “This would be a good escape vehicle.”

“If the culprit had had light and time on their side. No,” Steve decided, “I don’t think there’s anything here. Let’s move on.”

“Hold on,” Darcy said, “don’t forget there’s a Flerken around. That might have cleaned up the evidence. And it’s very Team Carol.”

Steve stiffened. “You’re accusing Carol.”

“I’m suspecting her,” Darcy corrected him.


	3. Scenario 1: Gym

“What kind of person kills someone at the gym?” Steve asked. 

“Someone got really competitive,” Bucky snickered before moving to crouch next to some weights. 

Darcy walked around the room, giving everything a thorough once over. “I’m tired just looking at all this,” she said. She also felt sick just thinking about any of this stuff being the murder weapon. She realised she was standing in the room with two people who definitely wouldn’t have an issue wielding these.

God dammit. Bucky has that mega arm too. 

Or, Darcy then thought, maybe he just murdered him with some poisoned milk.


	4. Scenario 1: Lounge

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” Darcy declared as she, Wanda and Bucky scoured the lounge for clues. Such as a big-ass sword behind the TV set.

“That is your fourth Star Wars quote today,” Bucky grumbled.

“Someone’s testy,” Wanda observed, over by the window, “guilty conscience maybe?”

Bucky scowled. “I’m testy because Tony lured us to the worst dinner party ever. And I’ve had dinner with some of Hydra’s finest.” 

As Wanda walked away, he turned to Darcy. “You know with her powers, she could hide the weapon in plain sight.”


	5. Scenario 1: Pepper's Office

“You’d have to have a lot of gall to cover up a murder in Pepper’s office,” Steve said as he, Darcy and Clint entered the immaculately organized office space. 

“Maybe that makes for a perfect place to stash the murder weapon,” Clint said as he examined the space under the desk. He pulled out the drawers one by one. “Files, files and more files,” he muttered. 

“Well this is an office,” Steve replied as he looked over a plant. 

“What did you expect, a bloody sword?” Darcy frowned thinking that they only had Clint’s word that the drawers contained files.


	6. Scenario 1: Bar

“Man Tony’s going to flip if the murder weapon is hidden next to his single malt,” Natasha whispered as she crouched down behind the bar. 

The former assassin’s quiet manner did nothing to lower Darcy’s anxiety about being alone with her in a darkened room. She found herself eyeing the distance to the door. She wondered how fast Natasha could vault over the bar. 

She meandered over to the sofa and reached between the cushions. “Please no spider bite, please no spider bite,” she muttered. Suddenly her hand caught on something sharp and she yelped. 

“What’ve you found?” Natasha demanded.


	7. Scenario 2: Lounge

“Okay people,” Darcy took in the unamused and sarcastic faces around her in the lounge. “If we don’t get to the bottom of this now, we’re gonna be stuck here and personally I have a date with my sofa and Netflix.”

Carol raised a hand. “Same.”

“So we should split up into teams and gather evidence.” Darcy continued. “Then-” 

“Except one of us will be stuck with the murderer,” Clint said. 

“Or murderers, could be two,” Wanda said. 

“I don’t think we can rule out that this could all be hoax of Loki’s using his magic,” Steve said pretty calmly.


	8. Scenario 2: Bedroom

Darcy didn’t want to look in the drawers. This was Tony Stark’s bedroom and who knew what lay in the drawers of his inner sanctum? Also Darcy had no desire to know what he and Pepper might be into. But rule number 3 or 4 of being a sleuth: looking into drawers was a must. 

“Don’t be toys, don’t be toys,” she muttered to herself as she investigated both bedside table drawers. Apart from Tony and Pepper’s passports and some envelopes (with invitations to some pretty snazzy events - don’t mind if I do Tony) there was nothing of the kinky variety. She abandoned the bedside tables and flung open the wardrobe doors. 

Putting aside the fact it was a walk-in wardrobe, everything in front of Darcy was basically suits, suits and guess what? More suits. 

“Someone should tell Tony that there is such a thing as wearing too many suits,” Steve declared, behind her. Darcy jumped half a foot in the air.

“Jesus, Cap! It’s freakin’ rude to sneak up on someone during a murder mystery!” Darcy turned around to see that the super soldier was softly laughing. She planted her hands on her hips in response. “Also rude. Laughing about it.” Also was he laughing because he was the murderer and he was going to silence her for good?

“My apologies, Darcy.” Steve said. 

Darcy eyed him carefully and then huffed and took herself over to one of the suit rails. She began leafing through the endless black suits until a flash of colour caught her eye.

Behind the middle of the rail, Cap’s shield was hanging on the wall. 

“Well that’s curious.”


	9. Scenario 2: Helipad

Darcy was climbing out of the helipad when she felt something nearby. Her skin tingled, hair rising on the back of her neck. She felt spied on, targeted. Was this how Loki had felt before he died? Was this the tiny moment of instinct that something terrible was about to happen? She completed her descent and looked back into the helipad. 

It took several minutes before her eyes finally located the minuscule creature lowering itself on a thin strand of web. Darcy shivered. 

“Nat…” she called out. “One of your friends is here? Did you summon them?”

Natasha emerged onto the helipad with an exasperated look on her face. “For the last time, Darcy, I cannot summon spiders and it’s not my friend.”

“Still,” Darcy said side-eying both Natasha and the spider now. “You’re Black Widow and that thing shows up on the same night as Loki’s death.”

Instead of looking offended, Natasha grinned and moved past Darcy to examine the Black Widow spider. “I’m impressed you recognised it.” 

“I did a report on it in the 8th grade,” Darcy muttered. “Some things you never forget.”

“And some things you should have done,” Natasha said in a silky voice. 

Darcy’s stomach plummeted. Was that a veiled confession? Was that how Loki had died? A spider bite?


	10. Scenario 2: Kitchen

Darcy was pacing the kitchen for the seventh time when something caught the corner of her gaze. She brought out her magnifying glass and knelt down next to the island counters. Reaching out, she picked a small triangular object up. 

“You actually have a magnifying glass on you?” Bucky whistled. 

“Yeah because I’m that convenient,” Darcy murmured as she examined the object. “Took it from the lab.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed. “Murder, thievery… whatever next.”

“Why don’t you pour yourself a glass of milk and calm down?” Darcy mumbled as she turned the object over in her hand. “Anyway it’s just as well I pinched this. Lookie.” 

“What did you find?” Bucky leaned across the island counter, his eyes meeting Darcy’s for a moment as she held the item up so he could see it.. 

“It’s an arrow head,” she said. 

“And we only know one guy who likes to go old school with his weaponry,” Bucky’s eyes glinted. 

Darcy swallowed. “I was really hoping it wouldn’t be Clint. Running isn’t going to do shit against his arrows.”


	11. Scenario 2: Laboratory

“Oh jesus,” Darcy quietly muttered as she looked around the candyland of murder enabling or evidence clean up.

“Just look for anything out of place,” Valkyrie told her with a strong pat on the shoulder that knocked Darcy into the fridge. “Look for blood, anything smashed.”

“You seem pretty sure that it was a bloody murder,” Darcy mused. 

The Asgardian rolled her eyes at her. “And you could be deflecting onto me,” Valkyrie countered. “Anyway, anyone who kills Loki would want to be sure they did it right. Probably used that stupid helmet of his.”

“Not sounding any less guilty.”


	12. Scenario 2: Elevator

If only she had finished the first episode of Sherlock when she’d had the chance. If I survive this, I’m binging it all. 

Darcy stepped into the elevator and jabbed the button, wishing she had just stayed at home with Ian the frog. Ian was stuck now. Her eyes watered at the thought of dead Loki. Darcy sniffed and wiped at her eyes. She would uncover this.

Before the doors could close, Steve stepped into the elevator, shield under his arm. 

Damn, Darcy looked at the shield. Imagine being hit with that thing.

“Any luck so far?” Steve asked quietly.


	13. Scenario 2: Gym

Darcy was feeling more and more rattled after two hours of sleuthing. How did Sherlock Holmes keep this up? Granted he was a fictional character but even so, you know? 

“Why don’t you take a rest, Darcy?” Wanda urged her as Darcy slumped against the wall of the gym. “This can wait a few minutes.”

“Worried I’m getting close?” Darcy countered wearily but the accusation felt as hollow as it probably sounded. “Nah I just want to get this done.”

“If it was me,” Wanda said, “you would never find out. I could undo all your sleuthing by making you forget.”

“1 point to Wanda. Touche.” Darcy looked around at the gym. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary so far. She began to walk around, examining equipment with Wanda doing the same on the other side of the room. “I have a theory,” she admitted to the Sokovian woman. “Because I’ve ruled everything else out… well almost. Surely magic has to be involved here?”

Wanda glanced over. “I think so too. Everything seems so clean. But that means the only culprit possible is Loki himself. I do not use my power in that way.”

Darcy nodded. “Which means this whole thing is a farce. Man what is it with this guy and not dying?”

Wanda chuckled gently. “He is certainly a pain in the ass.”


	14. Scenario 2: Bar

“I need a drink,” Carol said, half-filling her glass with gin. 

“You’ve had three already,” Wanda observed, nursing a bottle of water. 

“The alternative is I’ll go on a rampage.”

“Drink away.” Wanda smiled mischievously. “If you’re the murderer, it’ll only help us out.”

Carol half smiled. “If I was the murderer, I’d have confessed by now to get out of all this,” she waved a hand around as she spoke. “Not me. Sorry.”

“Or that could be a clever ruse to keep us off the scent,” Darcy said as she used her phone’s torch to look under the couch. “Well there’s no sword under here.”

“What makes you think Loki was stabbed by a sword?” Wanda asked, head tilting, eyes alight with genuine curiosity. 

“I don’t,” said Darcy. “But I’d like to rule it out.”

“If we’re going to narrow down every possible weapon in Stark Tower then we’re going to be here all night,” said Carol. 

“Drink up,” Wanda chuckled.


	15. Scenario 2: Pepper's Office

Apparently everyone had decided to search Pepper’s office together. 

“Come on, Cap, move that ass,” Darcy said as she squeezed between Steve and Bucky to look over a bookshelf for clues. Admittedly she lingered a moment or two against Steve.

“You could try asking nicely,” Steve teased her as he picked things off the desk, examined and replaced them. 

“Where I’m from, that was nice.” Darcy informed him. 

Bucky was thoroughly searching the copier for clues. On the other side of the room Natasha was crouched down, looking over the floor intently. Wanda and Carol were both floating in the air, getting a bird’s eye view of things. Pretty unfair advantage, Darcy thought to herself. 

Clint was looking through a filing cabinet. Which left Darcy with the desk drawers and the space beneath the desk which was regrettably empty. No sign of Loki’s crazy helmet horns which Darcy hadn’t seen since Loki’s grand entrance earlier. The worst thing about having them all in here was knowing that one of them was working against the others. The murderer was doing their best to hide their guilt. 

Who was doing the least effective searching? Darcy looked between Bucky and the two airbourne women. 

Is it one of you?


	16. Scenario 3: Laboratory

Here seemed the best place to start, Darcy thought as she entered the hyper-technological marvel that was Tony Stark’s lab. Two of the windows were open, filling the room with a cold, uneasy breeze that set goosebumps along her arms. On first glance, the lab seemed perfectly intact and clean. Darcy looked over everything as she circled the room. 

“Someone’s been watching too much CSI,” Natasha remarked from the doorway as Darcy examined the contents of one drawer with a magnifying glass she’d taken from it. 

“I’m not taking any chances,” Darcy said as she lowered herself down to the next drawer. It contained mostly empty vials and test tubes. And… arrows. ”Huh…”

“What’ve you found?” Natasha was at Darcy’s side quicker and more silently than Darcy was comfortable with. The assassin’s face was unusually expressive. “Clint.”

Darcy glanced around to make sure that the second assassin wasn’t in the room with them. “I’m no expert but arrows don’t generally live here.”

“Nope,” Natasha confirmed. “But it’s a rookie move, dumping them here.”

“Or a quick ditch scenario,” Darcy said. “He didn’t exactly have time on his side.”

“Who didn’t?” Clint’s voice made both women straighten up and turn around. 

Darcy edged closer to the drawer she knew held some knives. Just in case. “You misplaced your arrows.”

Clint frowed, halfway to smirking before his expression changed. “You think I did it.”

“Well… did you?”


	17. Scenario 3: Elevator

“Why am I under suspicion?” Steve demanded as Clint faced him, arms folded. 

“Because you’re the least likely to do it and so you’re the prime suspect.”

Steve planted both hands on his hips. “That makes no sense.”

“It does if you’ve watched as many detective movies as Clint has,” Natasha said from her position of leaning against the elevator wall, next to the buttons. “And he’s watched a lot.”

“Well you’re chasing the wrong lead,” Steve snapped at Clint.

“Which is what every culprit says.” Clint said, his mouth curving upwards slightly. 

“And people who are innocent.” Steve retorted.

“Your shield makes one hell of a weapon.”

“So do your arrows.”

“Guys,” Darcy sighed from the corner where she’d been making notes. “If we carry on like this, we’re going to waste even more time.”

“Besides you could just be covering your tracks,” Steve said, “or hers,” he added with a nod at Natasha. 

“Deflection. Classic move,” Clint smirked. 

“Okay boys,” Natasha said. “Let’s just get a move on finding evidence.”


	18. Scenario 3: Kitchen

Darcy turned on the coffee machine and waited with her flask. She was going to solve this thing if it killed her. (Which it may well do.)

“Whoever did this did a good job of covering their tracks,” Carol said as she strode into the kitchen. “Are you any closer to finding out?” she demanded. 

Darcy didn’t look at her as the machine finished. She poured her coffee and then tightened the flask lid. “I don’t know,” she lied. Some instinct guided her to keep quiet. 

“I’m just asking because you seemed to be taking charge of this thing,” Carol remarked. Darcy heard a bit of something else in her tone. Was that resentment?

“I was just trying to get everybody moving,” Darcy said as she turned to her. “If it was you, what do you think you would have used?”

“To kill Loki? Knives. Lots of them. Serves the bastard right,” Carol said. “Always pulling those knives out on people. Or I’d have fed him to Goose. That’d actually be pretty funny.”

Darcy forced a smile. “Yeah.” There was nothing funny about watching what that cat alien could do. Jesus Christ he was freaky.


	19. Scenario 3: Vents

Valkyrie hoisted Darcy into the vent. For a second, Darcy had an awful sensation of being plunged in and locked inside, never to escape. Calm down, she told herself. She began to wriggle through the events but the terrible thought continued to bloom. Valkyrie was possibly quick enough and strong enough to deal with Loki and then hide the murder weapon. The vents would be a good place, accessible from most rooms. Darcy’s stomach bubbled away with growing fear.

Great. Now she’d freaked herself out.

She could picture it now. Valkyrie stabbing Loki through the chest with her sword and then dumping him here. At least the Flerken could maybe be ruled out as it hadn’t devoured Loki. Then maybe maybe it had spat him back out.


	20. Scenario 3: Lounge

Something Thor had told her ages ago niggled at Darcy. Loki had been thought dead several times before. Who even knew how many times he’d have pulled this trick in the past? He was over 900 years old, right? What if this was just another one of his tricks? If it was then Darcy was going to give the God of Mischief a smack even harder than Jane’s.

She and Steve had been searching the lounge for ten minutes when Darcy sat back on her knees and looked up at Steve who was checking some of the higher bookcase shelves.. 

“Whoever did this probably offed Loki in a really nasty way.”

“He did make a lot of enemies so it’s pretty likely,” Steve said who was staring at a copy of the Karma Sutra. He quickly shoved it back on the shelf. 

Darcy was too concerned to tease. “I haven’t seen his helmet since he arrived. What if someone off’d him with that? Maybe Natasha. She seems like she could do stuff like that.”

Steve looked at her with a grimace. “Dark, Darcy.”

“This whole night is dark.”


	21. Scenario 3: Bedroom

Wanda swept the room with glowing scarlet illumination which Darcy thought was equally cool and terrifying at the same time. Also highly unnecessary. 

“Or we could just turn on the light,” she suggested, her hand hovering towards the switch. 

Wanda stiffened, a small smile lighting up her lips. “Oh… yes.” She turned her hands and her magic vanished. Darcy flooded the room with light. 

“Still feeling twitchy?” she asked as she approached Pepper’s vanity table. She rifled through her drawers. Nothing out of place among the make up and hairbrushes. 

“This whole night has been twitchy. Tony leaving and then Loki dying. I fear there is more at play than just this mystery.”

Darcy swallowed. “R-really loving the optimism there.” Wanda used her powers to lift the bed. Everything underneath consisted of tidily arranged boxes. Darcy looked through them. Nothing but clothes and some ornaments. “Shoulda known,” Darcy sighed. “That was too easy.”

“We’ve got to check even easy options,” Wanda reassured her. “The murderer didn’t have chance to do a thorough cover up. Not without magic anyway.”

Darcy suppressed a shiver. Loki wasn’t the only one who had magical elements even if it wasn’t the same thing.


	22. Scenario 3: Gym

Darcy was scribbling down some notes as she entered the gym. Valkyrie and Carol were examining some of the gym equipment while Clint had occupied a corner to get a distance look at everything. The three of them looked around at Darcy’s arrival. 

“Got any leads Inspector Clue?” Carol teased with a wicked smirk. 

Darcy rolled her eyes and shook her head. She began to look over the floor between the treadmills. She squatted down and a sliver of orange caught her eye. She reached out and lifted the cat hair onto the palm of her hand. “So the Flerken was in here at some point.”

“Doesn’t help. Could have been eating his kill in here. He does sometimes.” Carol shrugged. 

Darcy’s stomach immediately stopped growling for food. She also made a note of Carol’s quick defence of the creature.


	23. Scenario 3: Bar

“I’m no murderer,” said Darcy. “But maybe the murderer needed a drink.”

“He didn’t have time to get a drink, Darcy,” Bucky said as his metallic arm wrapped around her shoulders. 

Darcy leaned into him unconsciously. “Yeah but they could have dumped the weapon in here, made an excuse about getting a drink and then went to hide it properly.”

Bucky thought about it. “Yeah it’s possible. Their efforts would have been thwarted.”

A nasty, niggling thought bit at Darcy’s mind. She could be talking to the murderer now. “W-we should go and look,” she said, stepping away from him. The image of Bucky poisoning Loki with a glass of milk was both random and disturbingly stuck in her head now.


	24. Scenario 4: Pepper's Office

Darcy was alone as she sidled into Pepper’s office. On the face of it, everything sat in its place. The clear desk policy was intact and the only moving thing in the room was a dream catcher hanging directly above the desk. Darcy almost commented aloud that it was an odd place for it. But then she thought about it. Pepper. Overworking. Sleeping at her desk wasn’t that surprising. Darcy smiled up at it, wondering if Tony had snuck it in there.

She shook her head and slid into the office chair behind the desk. She loaded up the computer and inserted a USB into it. “Sorry Peps, needs must.”

After a couple of minutes of hacking, she had gotten into the computer and was searching through files when she heard a cough. 

“Jarvis said all the security footage was deleted.” Natasha said as she walked around the desk and placed her hands on Darcy’s shoulders. “So what are you up to?”

Darcy leaned into the familiar touch. “I was just checking Tony didn’t have any more secret cameras that might not be on Jarvis’ network.”

“No security footage in the vicinity is outside my network.” Jarvis declared.

Darcy sagged. “Damn.”

“We’ll figure this out,” Nat said as she rubbed her shoulders. 

“I just hope it’s not something lame,” Darcy said, “like Bucky poisoning him with a glass of milk.”


	25. Scenario 4: Bar

“Who drinks a glass of milk in a bar?” Natasha asked as she lifted the glass off the bar. 

“I got thirsty,” Bucky answered with a shrug. 

“That’s kind of scary adorable,” Darcy muttered, scribbling more notes now. 

“Whatever,” Bucky said. “We’re not here to discuss what I was drinking. That’s not important.”

“It is if you poisoned Loki’s drink,” Natasha pointed out. 

“You’re the one more likely to kill Loki. I bet you’ve got a few spider bites handy.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Natasha answered. 

Darcy sighed. “Guys, can you cut the flirting. We’re meant to be professionals.”


	26. Scenario 4: Elevator

“If I was the murderer, I’d try and check out of all the crazy first,” Darcy deduced, tapping her pen against her bottom lip as she stepped inside the elevator. 

“And make yourself look immediately guilty?” Clint scoffed quietly as he leaned against the elevator doors. 

“That’s a safety hazard,” Darcy observed before looking down at her regrettably blank notebook. “Also yes, I totally would. Chances are you’d find out it was me anyway. At least I’d get a head start.” She began to bite on the pen. “Elevator seems normal.” She sniffed the air. 

“Whatcha gonna do? Sniff the killer out?” Clint snorted. 

Darcy jabbed her pen towards him. “You’re awfully sassy for an innocent bystander. Also,” she added, tapping her pen against her chin slowly. “How do I know you didn’t do it and have followed me here to cover your tracks?”

“Because I was coming to check out the elevator anyway?”

“And I’m totally not gonna find your arrows stashed in a hidden compartment here?”

“Good luck finding the secret compartment if there is one,” Clint sniped back at her.

Darcy’s cheeks coloured. “Meaning what?”

“Nothing at all, princess.”


	27. Scenario 4: Vents

“Four of us being in here is just asking for trouble,” Clint complained as he brought up the rear of the group crawling through the air vents. 

“Why? We’ll cover more ground when these vents branch off,” Carol pointed out.

“Except there’s a good chance that one of us is the killer,” Clint countered. 

“Is that a confession, Barton?”

“Oh please,” Clint scoffed, “if I’d killed Loki, there’d be an arrow in his eyeball. And I don’t think an arrow killed him. I reckon they used his helmet.”

“Fair,” Darcy mumbled from behind Valkyrie. “You’re pretty quiet, Val.”

Valkyrie chuckled. “I’ve got nothing to hide.”

“That’s what they all say,” Carol joked.


	28. Scenario 4: Helipad

“I’m still not convinced that Loki is dead,” Darcy observed as she walked around the helipad, taking in the twinkling lights of the city around her. Beautiful night for a murder. That sounded like the sort of thing that Loki would say. He seemed to find beauty in trickery, chaos or death. She looked down at her notepad which had some problematic theories at best among her observations. “He has pulled this kind of thing before.”

“If he is alive then he will soon be dead for real,” Wanda growled as she floated high above Darcy, taking in the view from a different angle. “I suppose he has the magic to do it.”

“Exactly,” Darcy said as she pocketed her notebook. “But I can’t see anything amiss out here.”

“Neither can I,” Wanda said as she lowered herself to the helipad. She looked like a scarlet angel with her energy surrounding her hands. Darcy tried not to be creeped out.


End file.
